before & after

 

These photos were taken 10 months and 20 pounds apart.

The before and after need no explanation. I have been strength training for 10 months. Once a week with a trainer and 2 times on my own. Each session I work on either back and biceps, chest and triceps, or legs. 1 hour of muscle training and 30 minutes of cardio -- I love running!

These 3 days a week topped off with at least 2 yoga classes a week ;)

The road was tough but totally worth it. I feel physically and mentally stronger than I ever have!

I am so thankful for my health and ability to grow stronger. 

Yoga Yoga Teacher Training

Last week I completed a portion of what will ultimately be one (I am sure of many) of my life's most challenging journeys -- Yoga Yoga Teacher Training (YYTT).


I made my pilgrimage to Yoga Yoga in Austin last Friday after work as my first day of class was Saturday morning! I was a ball of nerves when I arrived. The 2 weeks before I left I was anticipating the journey and when I arrived I was still feeling anxious and a bit nervous about what the week ahead of me would entail.

My anxiety subsided a few hours into our initial meeting and orientation. I began to get really excited about everything I could potentially learn. Saturday and Sunday were both 8 hour days that seemed to pass rather quickly. We were lectured on the 8 Limbs of Yoga, had around 5 asana (posture) practices and a lot of snack & yogi tea breaks throughout the day. Sunday evening we left the studio at 8pm and were to return the following day at 7am.!
Monday - Friday were 9.5 hour days with an hour for lunch and a few snack & yogi tea breaks. Monday was definitely the worst of all 7 days. I was tired, exhausted, apathetic, questioning my reason for being there, home-sick, and did I mention exhausted?? Monday was one of the hardest days of my life. I started to question everything in the world.
Why am I here? How did I come to this path? Who am I? Who will I become? Will everything feel "ok" again? Is there really a "place for me in the Universe?"

I was an emotional wreck on Monday. After a long conversation and much encouragement from Jon and my Sister I told myself to stand tall and complete this task in front of me. I knew that I had the full support from everyone in my life and it was too important to turn back now. My only choice was to move forward with an open heart. So I did. I slept and when I awoke I was ready to face yet another 9.5 hour day in Yoga Teacher Training. I quickly understood that I am much more interested in philosophy and history than anatomy. But by the 4th day I decided that I should open my mind and heart to all of the material equally. The anatomy of the respiratory system was much more interesting that the psoas and the spine.

I logged my feelings at the beginning of each day (except for Day 2, I forgot :)

Day 1: "Day 1!! nervous"

Day 2:  n/a

Day 3: "exhausted"

Day 4: "rested, hopeful, calm, interested"

Day 5: "tired, ready, excited"

Day 6: "relaxed, connected, open"

Day 7: "educated, excited, happy"

During the first 7 Days of YYTT Module #1, I was completely immersed in yoga. All I could think about was yoga, the impact of yoga on my life, and just why I have come to this path in my life.
The last day of training all I could feel was relief that I HAD MADE IT. I survived. My brain was full of new and exciting information and could not be contained -- it felt like a balloon floating over my head -- not attached to my body anymore.

I felt an urgency to leave Austin. I couldn't have left quicker. I thought about leaving on Friday after class ended but decided that was a terrible idea since my brain felt unattached to my body. So after a crazy night of dreams and light sleeping I woke up at 7am and decided that it was time to go home!

Upon my arrival home, I hit the Lubbock city limits and my heart sank back down to where it came from (my throat) and I felt calm. Jonathan went to the local farmer's market that morning and bought fresh local veggies and honey as well as a beautiful new succulent. He gave me the gigantic hug that I had missed so much while I was away. He felt warm, strong, and like mine. I immediately started crying. My emotions and strength were finally broken down as I felt myself let go and accept my own vulnerability. I have never been so thankful for my partner in my entire life.

I feel lucky to have this past, present, and future life.

The first few days after my return were hard. I felt like a different person that was just going through a life that used to be mine. But, as all things do -- those feelings past. I feel different in general this week. Problems do not seem to be nearly as large as they would have before. And I can feel what can only be described as patience growing stronger. I am so very thankful to be at this point in my life. I am open to new ideas, exploring my mind and capabilities as well as learning how to spread the knowledge and teach others the practice that helped me find my true self.

In 3 weeks I will head back to Austin for Module #2 of YYTT. I feel more excited this time around because I know what to expect. And I know that as much as I feel like my brain or body has escaped   -- it will come back to me and all will be well.

Namaste

20 Under 40

Last Thursday, I was awarded an amazing honor of being named one of Lubbock's Top 20 Under 40 by the Lubbock Chamber of Commerce and the Young Professionals of Greater Lubbock. As in, the top 20 individuals under the age of 40 who are actively involved in community engagement, volunteer efforts, and who are projected to continue the positive professional growth of Lubbock, Texas.


I am truly honored and feel so very fortunate that my path in life has brought me here.

This is the new award proudly displayed on my bookshelf!

Aaaand, me with the 20 Under 40 Award (wearing my amazing $20 vintage dress that I found at Culture Clothing!)

 

I <3 LBB

love of language

Three months ago, I begin attending Sanskrit classes at the Lubbock Yoga Shala.

After my first class, the familiar and delightful feeling of being a student and learning came back to me. And I realized that I forgot what it felt like. It is a sense of learning what you did not previously know and an excitement for the knowledge that is to come.

The next few classes progressed at a very slow pace. I never knew how complex a language could be!

"The language of Saṃskṛtam is put together, constructed, well or completely formed; refined, adorned, and highly elaborated."

So, as with any language, there is a lot of material to absorb.
I found one of the most interesting aspects of Sanskrit to be the different identified areas of the mouth that letters forming words can come from. The English language is a very Dental spoken language - which is why lip-reading in English is easily distinguishable. However, the Sanskrit language consists of letters from varying mouth positions: Gutteral, Palatal, Cerebral, Dental, Labial, Semi-Vowel, Silibant, and Aspirate. So the difficulty, in fact, comes from the lack of known association. There are literally few comparisons in the English language and the Sanskrit language. Fascinating!!

The past few months our Sanskrit class has progressed at the speed of a (very slow) Kindergarten class. At one point last month, we begged our instructor for a SONG. A simple song that we could sing to remember the letters... you know, like the Alphabet Song..
Sadly, no such song exists for the Sanskrit language.


But somehow last week - everything finally started making sense to me. We have covered the 46 characters of the Devanagari (written Sanskrit) alphabet. And we are now learning how to abbreviate the characters together to form actual words.

Our big accomplishment at the end of last month was learning to spell "ghetto"!
This week we learned many many more (pictured in my sketchbook below): "Time, Neat, Water, Sangha" (Community), aaaaand "Val" "Brown"!

I absolutely love the challenge that learning a new language has brought to my life. I am thankful for the opportunity to be a student again.

Namaste

A Head

For the first time in my life, I needed "professional" headshots.
Thankfully my Sister is a seasoned and talented photographer. She is pretty much great at most things, including: making her own clothes, upcycling handbags, cooking, decorating, DIYing anything!, painting, and now photography!

We scheduled a bit of I'll-scratch-your-back-if-you-scratch-mine time one weekend. She needed a model for some new bags and headbands for her website and etsy shop and I needed headshots.

My Sister is also a great stylist,.. of course, so it was a bonus to have someone to fix my flyaway hairs and give me advice about what to wear.

These are the photos, courtesy of Marci Guthiel, that I submitted with the headshot request:

 
Aaaand one not so serious photo for good measure:

806

I attended a wonderful lecture a few weeks ago in which the guest speaker, a native of Albuquerque, NM, spoke so very highly of the city/town* of Lubbock, Texas.

*"city/town" is a term similar to that of a "man/boy". Not quite a man, not quite a boy. Example: "He's a man/boy."

The topic of the lecture was "color", how we are influenced by color, why we wear the colors that we do, and what colors we associate with or buy, etc. Pantone released the new "Color of the Year" -- Tangerine Tango! Passionate, exciting, colorful, full of life and hope. It's 2012 people!!
Definitely not my color but I can appreciate it for its modern attention grabbing edge. Recently, I designed a newspaper ad and graphics for a new TV spot employing -- THE 2012 Color of the Year: Pantone 1463!

During the lecture we formed groups and collectively decided 2 colors that were "Lubbock, Texas". The room was unanimous in picking: Brown/Gold and Sky Blue Pink. Leave it to a bunch of designers to pick 4 color blends for a 2 color assignment!

I imagine we all had an images similar to these in our minds:

My drive home from work. Lubbock, Texas 2011

  Sky Blue Pink. Lubbock, Texas 2011

Sunset. Lubbock, Texas 2011

Ooooor maybe we all had an images similar to this in our minds:

Arial View. Lubbock, Texas September 2011

 Haboob, reminiscent of the Dust Bowl. Lubbock, Texas Fall 2011

I learned that our beautiful, inspiring, humbling and unforgettable "West Texas sunset" colors are actually incredibly vibrant due to the amount of dust in our atmosphere.

The guest speaker raved that she had recently traveled in every major city in Texas: Dallas, Houston, Austin, and (as she said) "San Antone" and was pleasantly surprised to see more economic growth and construction in Lubbock than any other Texas city at the present time!

Most Lubbockites know that the cost of living in the Lubbock area is far below the national average. And as a result of this low cost of living both employers and their employees benefit from a higher standard of living for less than almost anywhere else in the nation.
We have real estate investment opportunities among us, a fantastic job market with just enough room to come together as a community yet friendly compete with each other. Oh, and we have a pretty great Art and Music scene too!

Now, if we could only get some water...

 San Marcos, Texas 2010

The Kind Life

Just as many do around the first of the year, I decided to make a few resolutions of my own:

- work less/make more time for friends
- embrace a complete vegan diet
- start a compost
- start a rainwater collection

I made great strides toward my first 2 resolutions in the first few weeks of the New Year. For my birthday, I hosted a Vegan Birthday Brunch.


I crafted these "paper balls" from an old newspaper and used them as a hanging center piece. (My girlfriend Claire crafted the really wild ones)

The simple recycled craft paper table runner dawned these beautiful fresh flower and soy candles.

The menu --
Cafe M's Vegan Benedict with Smart Bacon
Almond Cocoa Pancakes
Tiny Toasts with Grape Jelly
Fruit Salad with Soy Yogurt
Fresh juiced Orange and Apple juice

aaaand Mimosas, Bloody Marys, and Screwdrivers. Brunch staples.
None of my friends are Vegan (or Vegetarian) however, they are very open minded and tried all of the food. There were rave reviews!
The food was delicious and the company was lovely.
The attendees (a few neighbors, including one  that I met in yoga class and had never hung out with, a few old friends, and some very new ones as well) all got along wonderfully.

The Vegan Birthday Brunch is going down in my culinary experience as a success!

Sunshine

My arms and legs are still beaming from what could truly be considered a Yoga Marathon. My first but definitely not last.

It was my year of many many firsts:
- First year juicing
- First year strength training
- First year of working (not interning) at an Agency
- First year to buy a car (by myself)

AND - First year to complete around 100 of 108 Sun Salutations at Yoga Yoga Austin!

The class (marathon) began at 1:00pm on New Year's Day which to me really meant no acting wild on New Year's Eve. Which for the first time (another first) I openly accepted. Ringing in the New Year felt like wiping my slate clean. Which is what I have heard is the mental thought associated with A Sun Salutation. It all seems to align perfectly.
So, I spent the evening with a few friends in Austin. I had my obligatory glass of champagne at Midnight and shortly after I was off to bed!
I woke up bright and early on New Year's Day, a sense of renewal already brewing in my heart. I drove the desolate streets of South Austin to Juice Planet where I found a few other early birds. 1 Mean Green juice later I started feeling pretty excited.
I showered and dawned my yoga costume.

The studio was packed! As soon as I walked in the door I saw a sweet friend of mine from Art School! We squeezed our mats close in together. The entire room was filled with mats all around 6 inches apart. Wow!
Three rounds of OM left my ears vibrating with positive energy as we started in.

The Surya Namaskar A series went as follows:

1. Mountain Pose (Tadasana)
2. Standing Backbend
3. Swan Dive to Forward Fold (Uttanasana)
4. Inhale and look forward
5. Jump back to Plank Pose
6. Up Dog (Urdhav Mukha Svanasana)
7. Downdog (Adho Mukha Svanasana), hold for 3 breaths
8. Jump forward to Forward Fold (Uttanasana)
9. Inhale and look forward
10. Standing Backbend
11. Mountain Pose (Tadasana)

The first 10 or 12 were smooth. By 12 or 13 I started to sweat. A lot. Somewhere??, who knows where.. around 45 my sweat began to go up my nose -- because of the amount of time spent inverted: forward fold, downdog, forward fold. I began to cut my "hold for 3 breaths" to "hold for 1 breath" and spent the 2 residual breaths in Mountain Pose so my sweat could drip down my face rather than up. I also had to start using my shirt to wipe down my face. Not a great class to forget a towel! Eeekk.
My arms felt warm and the 8. Jump forward to Forward Fold began to seem quite difficult. This must have been the point when I took my first Child's Pose. Just a simple seated resting pose. I hoped back up and started again reminding myself that I should treat each Sun Salutation as it were the first. Retain integrity.
The first time I looked at the clock it was 2:30 - I decided in my mind that I was DONE. I was ready to roll up the mat and say "Good Enough" -- the class was come-and-go, a handful of students had already left and a few came in throughout the practice. Just as I was ready to quit, one of the instructors came in and announced "Alright everyone, we are at 80!" We all started to yell and scream. I quickly decided that if I HAD MADE IT TO 80, that I could certainly go all the way! Stick to it.
I took a few more Child's Pose throughout the last 28. And took a few forward lunges into forward fold eliminating the jump forward. WHEW~
Counting is a great technique that I use in my Strength Training sessions. I seem to work well in numbers -- So, I tried to count the last 28 in my head. My brain was focused only on the finish so I lost count somewhere around 4! But I rolled with it keeping in mind that this would end. It would not continue forever. Just as all things in life -- this challenge too would end.

I persevered on -- the instructor announced "LAST ONE!!!" We all started to yell and scream again! We finished the 108th Sun Salutation around 3:00pm. It was followed by an amazing cool down and a 5 minute Savasana (RELAXATION POSE).
The practice was followed with a loud round of applause. I reached over and hugged my friend, neither of us cared that we were dripping in sweat. We rolled up our mats and were greeted with warm tea as we exited the studio.

Right after class, I headed to pick up my riding buddy, as we were scheduled to leave for Lubbock that day. I ended up letting him take over and drive because my head was swimming in happiness, I couldn't get the grin off my face, and I felt high on life -- and on yoga. (Not sure if that is considered a legal intoxication).

This was truly one of the most AMAZING experiences. I predicted that I could get to around 75. I never dreamed that I could go all the way!! I am so thankful to have the ability in this lifetime to experience something so incredible.

So much happiness into the first day of 2012! Namaste

the only constant in life

Change.

The Holidays are usually a good time marker in which we can stand and reflect back on the past year and look forward to the new year upon us.

I was finally able to spend some time with my family which included a visit to see my Grandmother yesterday. She is a very strong woman living with advanced Alzheimer's. She told me, in Spanish, the same story over and over for about an hour of how she only had 3 children and was very naive when she married at age 19. She adamently said -- "it's wasn't like like it is today."

Being at my Grandmother's house reminded me of the part of my childhood that I somehow have not forgot.
Growing up, each year my Grandparents would have a New Year's Eve slumber "party" for all of the grandkids. We would stay up late and watch Grandma cook cinnamon buñuelos. We would pop open sparkling cider, sound our noisemakers as we counted down to Midnight! I think that my Grandparents enjoyed it just as much as we did.

Ah, to be young!

The Road to Grandma's House

This year, I received a special Christmas gift from my Parents--
A few months ago, I flew to Austin and somehow in the Airport shuffle I lost the ring that my Mom had given me on my 28th Birthday. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Austin but my hand felt strange because it was missing the ring that I had worn for almost 4 years. I called the Airport a few times but my ring was never reported or returned.
So, for Christmas this year,.. My Parents replaced the ring for me! Hooray, It feels so great to have my ring back! I slept with the ring on my finger on Christmas Eve and woke up with that excited feeling on Christmas day as I realized that I had my ring back.
I will aim to responsibly hold onto this one for as long as possible.

As I feel myself age into a more mature "Me", I feel so conscious and aware of my life, my past, and of course my future.
I feel that the past year was challenging and presented me with many situations in which really reinforced who I am. Not who I was, nor who I will become -- but who I am now.

I am so thankful.

+

The only constant in life is change.

I am a habitual creature of life. I enjoy seeing my living room rug lined up with the base boards, wearing head to toe neutral colors (mainly black and grey, but I am open to white, off-white, tan, or brown), eating meals at 8:00AM, 10:00AM, 12:00PM, 3:00PM, and 8:00PM, drinking 64 oz of water throughout the day out of my WholeFoods BPA-free water bottle, making fresh juice each morning, working out at the gym 3 times and taking in 2 yoga classes per week, and -- I like knowing what I am doing, how I am doing it, and when it will be done.

However. Within the past month. My life has changed.
For the better. I was recruited for a job as a Designer at the Price Group, which is a local Advertising Agency. My new work environment really reminds me of Sibley Peteet, where I interned in Austin in 2007. It is laid back, busy, creative, fun and overall a blast. My first 2 weeks at my new job I have designed: newspaper ads, a wrap-around label for a Voodoo mail piece, re-typeset an election letter for the Mayor, and I sewed a tiny Voodoo doll. Next I am working on our Company Christmas card and a proposal to build a new clinic for the Lubbock VA. All of that topped off with a staff Karaoke Happy Hour. wow.

I bought a new car! Which is something that I have not done in 9 YEARS! Cleaning out my little Cavalier that I have owned for the past 9 years brought a bit of nostalgia. It felt good to let go of one thing and welcoming embrace another.
I bought a new car that is very much me: simple, efficient, safe, modern, and of course black.

I feel so fortunate to be experiencing the vast amount of change in my life lately. It feels like things are falling into place. And my path is becoming clearer.

I am one lucky girl.