Time has passed since my last blog entry. I have questioned the quality of my thoughts and reserved myself into fully believing that "the more I learn, the less I know". It's quite beautiful really.
I realized recently that my life changed after Yoga School. It was the spiritual awakening that I could feel coming the previous year. I recall telling a friend that I felt like I was "standing on the brink of a big change", and then it happened - 9 months later.
While in Yoga School, I found and embraced a much needed Restorative Yoga practice. I resisted it for years, and thankfully the pull was stronger than my resist.
In the middle of my teacher training last July, I took a class and settled into a comfortable restorative posture and recall the teacher's voice slowly fading away...
My mind started to travel. It began with where I was at the particular time: at Yoga Teacher Training, in Austin, restoring my body. I then drifted to thoughts of why I was there: this took me much deeper. I recalled my classical ballet studies that started for me at age 5 and continue until age 18. The first time I stepped on a yoga mat, I remember being very
comfortable as I was naturally flexible and loved the discipline and
concentration that I felt, which reminded me of my ballet classes. I remember feeling very excited about the idea of becoming a yogi. It
just seemed so right.
My body sunk deeper into my Restorative yoga pose and then, for the first time in a very long time I remembered that as a child I wanted to be a nun. I was raised Catholic. I loved attending mass and Sunday school as a child. I decided, around what must have been age 7 or 8 that I should become a nun. The idea of serving a higher power was in me, even at a young age. The idea of become a nun faded as I grew older, as did my Catholic faith.
My awareness came back to the present and I realized that I had tuned out the teacher. I began to focus on the present. I was in awe as I realized that the teacher was talking about "transformations". The same idea that was filtering through my mind at that moment. Transformation.
What leads you to your path? Where do you travel before you get there? What interests pull you to firmly stand in the place you are meant to be? How does life transform you?
There is a beautiful awareness that comes in the moments in which we allow ourselves to stand still. To connect, reflect and realize. And in that beautiful moment, I realized I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Walking the path to my true self. Yoga found me and changed everything.