the only constant in life

Change.

The Holidays are usually a good time marker in which we can stand and reflect back on the past year and look forward to the new year upon us.

I was finally able to spend some time with my family which included a visit to see my Grandmother yesterday. She is a very strong woman living with advanced Alzheimer's. She told me, in Spanish, the same story over and over for about an hour of how she only had 3 children and was very naive when she married at age 19. She adamently said -- "it's wasn't like like it is today."

Being at my Grandmother's house reminded me of the part of my childhood that I somehow have not forgot.
Growing up, each year my Grandparents would have a New Year's Eve slumber "party" for all of the grandkids. We would stay up late and watch Grandma cook cinnamon buñuelos. We would pop open sparkling cider, sound our noisemakers as we counted down to Midnight! I think that my Grandparents enjoyed it just as much as we did.

Ah, to be young!

The Road to Grandma's House

This year, I received a special Christmas gift from my Parents--
A few months ago, I flew to Austin and somehow in the Airport shuffle I lost the ring that my Mom had given me on my 28th Birthday. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Austin but my hand felt strange because it was missing the ring that I had worn for almost 4 years. I called the Airport a few times but my ring was never reported or returned.
So, for Christmas this year,.. My Parents replaced the ring for me! Hooray, It feels so great to have my ring back! I slept with the ring on my finger on Christmas Eve and woke up with that excited feeling on Christmas day as I realized that I had my ring back.
I will aim to responsibly hold onto this one for as long as possible.

As I feel myself age into a more mature "Me", I feel so conscious and aware of my life, my past, and of course my future.
I feel that the past year was challenging and presented me with many situations in which really reinforced who I am. Not who I was, nor who I will become -- but who I am now.

I am so thankful.

+

The only constant in life is change.

I am a habitual creature of life. I enjoy seeing my living room rug lined up with the base boards, wearing head to toe neutral colors (mainly black and grey, but I am open to white, off-white, tan, or brown), eating meals at 8:00AM, 10:00AM, 12:00PM, 3:00PM, and 8:00PM, drinking 64 oz of water throughout the day out of my WholeFoods BPA-free water bottle, making fresh juice each morning, working out at the gym 3 times and taking in 2 yoga classes per week, and -- I like knowing what I am doing, how I am doing it, and when it will be done.

However. Within the past month. My life has changed.
For the better. I was recruited for a job as a Designer at the Price Group, which is a local Advertising Agency. My new work environment really reminds me of Sibley Peteet, where I interned in Austin in 2007. It is laid back, busy, creative, fun and overall a blast. My first 2 weeks at my new job I have designed: newspaper ads, a wrap-around label for a Voodoo mail piece, re-typeset an election letter for the Mayor, and I sewed a tiny Voodoo doll. Next I am working on our Company Christmas card and a proposal to build a new clinic for the Lubbock VA. All of that topped off with a staff Karaoke Happy Hour. wow.

I bought a new car! Which is something that I have not done in 9 YEARS! Cleaning out my little Cavalier that I have owned for the past 9 years brought a bit of nostalgia. It felt good to let go of one thing and welcoming embrace another.
I bought a new car that is very much me: simple, efficient, safe, modern, and of course black.

I feel so fortunate to be experiencing the vast amount of change in my life lately. It feels like things are falling into place. And my path is becoming clearer.

I am one lucky girl.

Momentum

Riding the waves of momentum.

Last night I saw the Junior Boys live. They are definitely one of my favorite bands and I had yet to see them perform live.. until last night.
They sounded crisp, clear, and beautiful. Just as I imagined they would.

I have felt this wave of perspective shift coming on me for the past few months. And now I believe that I am in it -- riding it like I am scared to do but know that I must.

Something is changing in me and my life. I have questioned myself, my being, my contribution, and my worth as I stood on the brink. And I have accepted that the only thing that I know for certain is that I do not have the answers.

I do not have it all figured out. I am far from knowing where I will go in life, how I will get there, or what it will be like when I am there -- That is the only certain thought that I have.

Strength

 
photo courtesy of Seane Corn Photobucket

As I have blogged about many times the past few years -- Yoga is an integral part of my life. It completes my day, balances me, and leads me towards my path in life.

I realized recently that my yoga practice has some what plateaued in that I have seen much progress in the past few years from having zero core strength to now balancing in headstand! -- however, the past few months have seen very little progression. I am not regressing -- thank goodness. But there are many poses that I would love to incorporate into my repertoire -- however, my body is simply unable. :(


So, I made the decision to begin Strength Training with a personal trainer.


For the sake of taking my yoga practice to the next level, I am all in. 100%.
My Strength Training began with an overall body assessment -- which was frightening and interesting all at the same time. My trainer determined that my diet was in tip-top shape however -- my work out habits were not. I, in fact, had plateaued my progress.

So, an hour after learning so much about the muscles of the body and how one does in fact build muscle strength -- I committed myself to 1 YEAR of Strength Training. 3 times a week. 45 minutes of either Chest & Triceps, Back & Biceps, or Legs + 30 minutes of cardio + 1-2 Yoga classes a week.
!!!


During my first work out, with my Trainer by my side, I felt the sudden impulse to spew. (sorry for the graphic content) ugh, yeah. I felt like throwing up. I held it all in and began to feel normal again a few hours afterward. The same impulse during work out #2. Ugh. However, we are on WEEK 3 and all is well. No more spew feeling. Just the feeling of accomplishment!
I am not going to say that I love going to the gym/working out almost every day of the week, and the thought of being dedicated to this schedule for the next year is almost too much to handle - however, it feels great to know that I have tackled this challenge and I am sticking with it. Progressing forward.

And, I am excited to see which yoga poses my strong future will afford me.
Hopefully:
Side Crow
Handstand
Forearm Balance

+ many many more :)

Namaste

Value

I haven't blogged in a few months -- simply because I have (again) been contemplating the value of my thoughts. With so many Twitter thoughts, Facebook thoughts, Blogs thougths, Articles, and "sharing" from around the world-- it's vast out there! --  it is easy to get lost.

Recently, I read an article (thank goodness for that online "sharing")
The Top 5 Regrets That People Have on Their Deathbeds
A bit of a morbid idea which translated into something quite beautiful.

#2. Regret:
I wish I didn’t work so hard. 

was the one that really hit home.

For at least the past few years I have been a serious workaholic. I let my work, stress me out, get me down, make me sick, consume my life, come between my family/friends and I, and I almost let it destroy my relationship. My life has been my work. And my work has been my life.

Upon closer examination of just how much my work means to me, I realized that my life and my happiness are worth so much more. I will never be the person who doesn't take pride in my work or simply doesn't work! -- but I realize that I have a life outside of work too.

With that idea burning a hole in my head, I decided to start limiting my "work hours" -- meaning: I realize that everyone (yes, even me) needs time off to stop, regroup, collect and breathe.

The first few nights of my new practice were hard. The thoughts of my To-Do list were looming in my head and I felt guilty for "wasting time". But the weekend rolled around and in between: yoga, running, swimming, cleaning, lunching with friends, hanging out with my family -- it seemed like nothing was missing but so much was gained.

And what is more, the past few weeks I start my week refreshed and ready to productively, efficiently and happily tackle my To-Do list with a clear head. The few hours + days off each week have really started to make me love my life more than ever before.

So, I look forward to my new and found again hobbies.
I remember a time when I was an artist..

March on!

wow.
March is over? Really!

The other day, I mentioned to my Dad how time in my life seems to passing fast lately. He said "there is a reason it's called 'Over the Hill' after you hit 40. When you get to the top of the hill -- that is your life passing slowly. When you go over the hill that is when your life starts passing fast."
I can't image how I will feel in 9 years when I am "Over the Hill" and snowballing down! Whew ~ I also can't believe that I am only 9 years away from 40. Where has all of the time gone? :)

When we stop, take time and notice the passing of our lives it can be a good time to reflect on where we've been, what we've done, and importantly -- what we will do next.

In my blog post from last June,  I boasted of my beautiful DAM (Downtown Art Market) find:

The circle in the image above is the same succulent that looks like this today:

3 of the succulents from the original, including this one, had transplants into new pots. This one has roots!, a long stem, and now a baby!!
In a little under a year look at how much this guy has accomplished. And next? -- who knows.. I see more sprout ling babies and an even longer stem in the future.

Life is exciting as it happens -- if you take time to notice people, places and things around you growing just as fast as you are.

71

I lived in South Austin for many years. Each and every day I saw the human fixture on the corner of S.1st and Ben White (Hwy 71) which most people deemed simply as "Ben White". He "parked" his shopping carts full of treasures in the parking lot of the Chucky Cheese across the street. When he wasn't sleeping on the bus stop bench he was reading. Yes, reading.
People had all kinds of rumors about his story:
"He is a genius and chooses to be homeless",
"He is a crazy Veteran",
"He changes his location based on the Sun",
"He only eats Honeybuns from 7-Eleven".

Whatever his story was or might have been, he seemed to impact my life. It wasn't that he was "homeless" really but rather "houseless". He definitely had a home.

I snapped a few pictures of him (which I unfortunately lost with the loss of my old sketchbook) which I used as reference for sketches, a painting, and a few digital mixed media works.

 

2007, The Ghigh

Well, as the story goes...
He disappeared one day. (It was just after I too had disappeared from Austin.) Locals set up a memorial on "his" bus stop bench, brought flowers and candles, and mourned the passing of Mr. Ben White. Shortly after, a story surfaced that claimed Ben White was in fact still alive and he had been adopted by a family in Wimberly and was living on a beautiful ranch.

Image courtesy of the Statesman.com

I believe that the story of his moving to Wimberly is true. Just as I  believe that the books he read on the corner of 71 & S.1st were tales of Minimalist Happiness, Enlightenment, How to Survive without Consumerism, The Simple Life, or something along those topics...

For the love of.. Yoga

My last post really got me thinking about how much a part of my life yoga has become. I feel fortunate to have been introduced to the practice, 3 years ago this month :)
The more my practice develops, the more I learn about my mind, my body, my breath, my life.

In the beginning I went to class for entertainment, it was something to do. I had been a chronic sufferer of carpel and cubital tunnel for years. And within the first month of regularly attending yoga classes -- my symptoms disappeared. completely. relief. And I was hooked.
Last year, during a period when I was too stressed to care about anything, I completely neglected my yoga practice for about a month -- I noticed within the second week how my arm began to feel painfully "numb" again. My hand was tingly feeling and I knew what was going on. I embraced my practice once again and my carpal tunnel subsided.

During college and the first year afterward I experienced extreme amounts of anxiety in my everyday life. For some reason or another I often felt uneasy, fatigued and simply anxious about any and everything. The wind could blow a certain way and I felt "impending doom" (that's text book anxiety) rest upon me. After a series of actual panic "attacks" I sought some therapy and learned to journal -- which is a practice I regard even today.

My anxious feelings too have dissipated, just as my carpal tunnel has, through yoga.
I wonder what I would have/ could have been like at a younger age had known this kind of mental, physical and spiritual exercise existed.

And as if alleviating carpal tunnel and anxiety was not enough -- with my practice has come an sense of mental clarity. Not that I think I have everything figured out! at all. -- but much more like, All I know is that I know nothing.

I truly feel that yoga saved me. And made me the person I have grown to be and will continue to become, for that I am eternally grateful.

Namaste